February 2012
210 posts
Decided to break into my box of pringles early...
The salt and vinegar opens fresh wounds in my mouth and then feeds barbed wire into them.
Yeah.
aaux asked: I don't understand the airport thing? what is it?
New cheap-ass toilet paper
3/10.
Low tolerance for liquids (you know the ones I mean) and too small to adequently capture poop in a certain radius.
AHHHH TUMBLR
Why have you whore’d up? You’re somebodies mother, probably.
It's probably a bad idea to surf Tumblr in the...
Hardcore porn… Hardcore porn everywhere.
Attempted ad lib of possible sitcom dialogue.
*Captain Geoff is dragged off the floor as vomit drips down his shirt*
Geoff: Leave me to wallow in what... tastes like self-pity.
Nigel: Oh, you... you're covered in self-pity... oh Lord.
Geoff: Yes, and I think I 'regret and shamed' my undies as well...
Nigel: Oh dear...
Geoff: Yes well, as Captain of this ship I reserve the right to void certain cavernous regions of my body whenever I do so wish.
Nigel: I do hope not, sir.
Geoff: All I'm saying is, if we're caught in a sticky situation, don't hold your breath.
Nigel: *wafts nose* I might have to... Anyway, you need to clean yourself up, sir. Busy day ahead.
Geoff: *scratches arse* Yeah, busy, busy, busy. Got kegs to soil, crewmen to fire and blood-curdling screams to unleash into my pillow in the dead of night.
Nigel: All part of the job sir!
Geoff: That's why I carry this gun. But still, I have nothing better to do today. I might mosey on down to the virtual reality thing that TOTALLY isn't a holodeck... and violently fuck a large group of pure fantasy, perfectly desgined holo-women.
Nigel: *sighs* Hollow would be the appropriate term, sir...
I almost forgot how good some classical music is.
It almost makes me want to destroy it with electricity.
Okay, I'm still on the 90.
Not sure if still heading towards Seattle though.
I’m gonna go catch a shower before Security decide that hot water is for cock-suckers. Then I’m gonna head back off to Seattle before stopping breifly for Family Guy and American Dad whilst playing Pokémon on my DS. Then returning to email a lecturer (likeyado at half past midnight) and check out what the fuck I’m supposed to be...
Started a new MapCrunch journey.
Turns out I woke up in the USA and have inexplicably found my way onto the 90 heading towards Seattle, thanks to a rather handy signpost.
More to follow.
I don't know what my flatmates were cooking
but it made my eyes feel like pouring salt into cuts in ones’ scrotal arena.
My clothes also stink like I’ve just hugged a fat guy after he was chased through a park by a Rottweiler.
deanmachine asked: Apparently those plastic things can be opened with a regular tin opener quite easily...
Spending the evening in A&E because flatmate.
Because he cut his finger goddayum deep trying to throw water out of what turned out to be a poorly constructed mug, over my other flatmates outside as they pummeled the window with a basketball.
It really takes a trip to hospital to realise just how fragile a human life is. Especially when all you have is someone you barely know by your side and waiting for 1 and a half hours in searing pain as...
So they releasing Pokémon Black and White 2.
Like bausses.
Just realised that the sole purpose of the creation of the word ‘Altruism’ is to describe the fact that Altruism does not, in fact, exist in a pure form. Any other use of the term is not techincally correct due to the fact that there is no such thing as true Altruism - we do nice things for others to make ourselves feel awesome rather than for no reason.
Oh God… it’s 3am.
MapCrunching
Seems to always end up me staring at bushes.
But then I just go back to MapCrunching after I’ve cleaned up.
Anonymous asked: I know this is personal, but r you a virgin?
OMG DO THEY ALL HAVE TO BE SO GODDAM FUCKING...
#sexualfrustration
